Let’s dig here into a juicy subject:
Your own ones and those of other people.
It’s delicate, it’s necessary and essential to recognize, respect, and communicate boundaries.
Still: it is often a hard job to deal with them, or how do you feel about it?
To set clear boundaries:
How do you express them?
Do you tend to avoid setting limits, to be nice and say yes –
even though inside you feel a “No”?
and make compromises in order to keep everybody happy?
Or are you totally ok to give a NO and feel the clarity and relief of it?
Your body is a compass for connection.
It often knows better than your brain alone what needs to happen next…
When you are in a situation to give a “No”, please observe your response in your body:
Notice if you feel resistance,
an uncomfortable feeling in the stomach,
– or a sense of relief and being more lighthearted …!
Let me give you some examples of avoidance mechanisms.
This is what people do instead of giving a clear NO
– find excuses why it’s not possible
– criticize themselves for wanting to say no, and feeling bad about it
– get ill- then the body answers for you!
– pretend there is no time to do something
– leave it up to someone else to decide for them…
I remember I had a Dance teacher, David Zambrano, and he dealt with it in the following way: when someone gave a suggestion that did not fit, here was his response:
“I like it.
But not now!
Now we are going to do this….”.
He presented it in a very clear, still humorous, and light-hearted manner, so it was easy to go along with it.
“No” is an opportunity to shift plan.
To let go
To look deeper
To stay connected in a different way
To make space for a new path.
It’s a clear decision.
Everything that you don’t do, supports what you do do!
To set clear limits and boundaries can at first feel uncomfortable and maybe even scary-
from my own experience I tell you :
in the long run, it improves the quality of your relationships, and deepens the respect and the love for yourself and each other.
Ps: do you want that in your life too?
check out the EMBODIMENT COACHING
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